The recent weather has seemed to kick start me. My two favorite times of the year are Spring and Fall. It's those times when the weather is just perfect. Those times also always stir up in me this desire for change.
I've recently been unhappy and mopey, which is totally not my usual self. Through most of December, until a few days ago, I had been walking around in this haze of complacency and depression. Just doing what I needed to in order to stay under the radar. People can't hurt you if they don't realize you're there. Or something like that.
Then Thursday happened. I woke up, the sun was shining, and then weather was perfect. One of my best friends was coming to town for the weekend, so I opened all the windows in the house and started cleaning. When I was finished, I just had this sense of renewal. It was like I swept all of this winter's crap right out of the door. I sat on the porch, enjoyed a glass of wine, and for the first time in months felt like myself again.
Since then I have been on this kick where I have been changing things in my life. I NEED a difference. Because I don't want to continue on like I have been. I signed up to go to POSSCON, I have been tutoring a student in Java, been working on an old computer, exercising every day, changing my diet, hanging out with friends that I haven't hung out with in a while, etc.
All of these things because why not? That's the fun in it. What else am I going to do? I have the free time. There's a saying "If you can't love yourself, then how the hell are you going to love somebody else." I need to love me again. One day at a time.
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